I remember that summer.
We met.
Bathing suits and
sandals with
worn soles.
Baring souls on a sand bar
over dirty
martinis.
I was waiting for your friend
and you were
just waiting
for something, anything
or anyone
and I was there
Wait. I think I’m making this up. I remember the martinis but I think you did all the talking and I wasn’t listening to a word you said…
Take 2:
A single look was all it took
A glance that sparked a fire
Then came the touch
At once I knew
You were my heart’s desire
Strike that. It was lust. And “body’s” has too many syllables. Maybe something shorter…
Take 3:
Dark blue eyes on you
Splendidly symmetrical
A summer haiku
Oh, please. I will not sink to this level just to have something to write about. This absolutely sucks.
Final version:
Girl. Boy. A drink. A dance.
Intense. Fast. Separation.
Together we weren’t poetry
Just free association.
Perfect.
CalliopesPen 
July 7, 2009 at 10:40 pm
Nice…
July 7, 2009 at 10:50 pm
Thank you, Kapil. Nice to see you here 🙂
July 7, 2009 at 11:27 pm
lol. I love all your little “intermissions” and then the way you summed it up. 🙂 Just say no to alcohol.
July 7, 2009 at 11:35 pm
🙂 Glad it gave you a smile, my friend. Though I neither confirm nor deny the truth behind the words this time 😉 I think the full moon brought out the imp in me.
July 7, 2009 at 11:43 pm
I am so glad you invite me into your mind and heart this way. You may just inspire me to try verse myself someday.
July 8, 2009 at 12:02 am
and I am so, so glad you come over and visit, Linda! I think you absolutely should write verse! Do it!
July 7, 2009 at 11:46 pm
Loved reading this.. specially the way you made it out to be all romantic… only to laugh out loud at, what Charles called the “intermissions”.. You’re such an accomplished writer.. to be able to switch on and off with different tones and moods with subtle line changes!
July 8, 2009 at 12:06 am
DL–so glad you laughed! We need more of that 🙂 Thank you for your kind remarks but really it was just a stream of consciousness which turned out to be quite frustrating until I wrote those little “intermissions” down was able to laugh at myself and the situation. I feel better now;)
July 8, 2009 at 12:06 am
I loved this. Oh, man, how I loved this. “You. Me. Booze. Bed. Now.” HAHAHA! Oh, you captured this so beautifully, and the starts and stops are so like cheating, lying memory!
So perfect! So wonderful!
July 8, 2009 at 12:33 am
Hello there Mr. Darc! Isn’t it amazing how our memory likes to turn everything into something all romantical? 😉 They can’t all pack the same power as that
first crush 😉
July 8, 2009 at 12:30 am
You are a bit of humor and imp yourself D! Nothing to see here? I sure beg to differ!! You go girl!!
July 8, 2009 at 12:37 am
J–apparently we both were feeling a bit impish. We’re kindred spirits–there’s no denying it:)
July 8, 2009 at 5:48 am
I like the way you did this, Danielle. It made me smile.
The contraction of thoughts, resulting in the final stanza, very original.
July 9, 2009 at 8:47 pm
If it made you smile then it makes me happy, Paul. Thank you! 🙂
July 8, 2009 at 6:53 am
Hahaha!
*Applauds.
July 9, 2009 at 8:47 pm
😉 Thanks Domino
July 8, 2009 at 11:20 am
Very cute. Four poems for the price of one! 🙂
July 9, 2009 at 8:48 pm
LOL Joseph! But as they say, quality over quantity. They weren’t good poems, so it really doesn’t count 😉 Glad you stopped in and left your footprint. Your poetry is knocking my socks off;)
July 8, 2009 at 11:30 am
This is my favorite piece of yours so far. Well done!
July 9, 2009 at 8:49 pm
Thanks Pamela…I’ll have to remember that…this one was the most fun to write–maybe that’s the secret to success, eh?
July 8, 2009 at 1:19 pm
Fun! 🙂
July 9, 2009 at 8:50 pm
Hi Susan:) Fun is necessary;) Thank you!
July 8, 2009 at 7:17 pm
Every time I walk in that door you have unmasked another feature of human nature and with such intelligent humour. You’ve achieved something many poets grunt and sweat to do and still never accomplish: You went universal with your readers, making it impossible not to see themselves in that experience and those words. I’m officially NOT in your league and I bow to your expertise my dear. You rock! 🙂
July 9, 2009 at 8:54 pm
Val, I say this with love and respect–you’re nuts. But I thank you so, so much! You have no idea how long I have waited for somebody to tell me “I rock.” I can’t wait to tell my girls. They’ll disagree I’m sure 🙂
Thank you, thank you, thank you! You have made my year:)
July 8, 2009 at 10:41 pm
So much fun to read…I think I went back to this about five times since my first visit this afternoon – just love it, and it makes me giggle every time…I personally adore the
dirty
martinis…
as you knew I would. Your humor and wit are fantastic..keep it rolling…
July 9, 2009 at 8:54 pm
Gotta watch out for those dirty drinks–they’ll get ya every time;)
July 9, 2009 at 9:53 am
I love the process!
July 9, 2009 at 8:55 pm
Thank you Sandy:)
July 9, 2009 at 9:39 pm
I love it I love it I love it! I keep reading this over and over again…how in the world could Val think I am anywhere near your league!?
Heh, kind of felt like my writing process, too, muttering to myself and constantly scratching out lines. If anyone saw me writing they’d think I’m mental..;-)
July 9, 2009 at 9:57 pm
Oh good grief CD–now you have ME blushing and that’s not something I do easily. You are a remarkable poet!!! It is so strange how we can see the talent in others but have such difficulty seeing our own. Let’s call it charming:)
As for looking insane–oh YES–that is me too. My children are learning to stay away when mom has her notebook on her lap. I think I scare them 😉
July 10, 2009 at 1:26 pm
How about my own Take 4: Dude …
Sorry, that’s all I have. I’ll leave the primo poetry for you from now on. I loved yours.
July 10, 2009 at 4:03 pm
Hey there Tricia…thank you so much for popping in (notice the bubblewrap analogy) 😉 I will be visiting you often now–you have made me laugh out loud several times already–I love it. May I blogroll you, Madam?
July 10, 2009 at 5:35 pm
Yes, you may. But I must provide a disclaimer: I am not responsible for any insanity–contagious.
I shall add you as well to my blogroll.
P.S. Yes, loved the analogy
July 10, 2009 at 7:13 pm
Okay, Tricia–I’m game. Insanity doesn’t scare me a bit. 🙂 Thank you.
July 11, 2009 at 8:43 am
Hi – love this poem style! Is there a term for it, or were you experimenting with styles? I’m a teacher and am always looking for new styles of poetry (or ones I havent heard about yet)…GREAT poem, love the minimalist approach.
July 11, 2009 at 9:57 am
Hi Word,
Thank you so much for taking the time to read and to comment. It is nice to “meet” you!
I have to admit I am very uneducated about different styles of poetry…I just wrote this the way it came to mind. I am so glad you liked it:) If you have a blog, I’d love to visit…:)
July 11, 2009 at 10:44 am
Yes, I am building my blog slowly. You can visit me at http://www.wordnerd45.wordpress.com
I look forward to your visit! I have on there several “poem” styles — some I had never heard of before this summer. The “excerpt from a cat’s journal” is called a 55-word narrative, because it has to tell a story entirely using only 55 words. The poem called “I want” is called a nestled poem, it builds on itself and then changes the direction at the last minute. There is also a poem in there comprised entirely of 6-word memoirs. And of course, there are haikus and some free verse.
July 11, 2009 at 10:46 am
Fabulous! Thank you! You may want to change your profile or settings so that you can hyperlink to your blog via your username. It will help us to find you:)
July 11, 2009 at 2:37 pm
I was just sitting here puzzling over how there could be so many
poets on WordPress that I’ve seen neither hide nor hair of.
How are they escaping my notice? Are they not tagging their blog entries, perhaps?
July 11, 2009 at 2:46 pm
Hi Domino–
Hmmmm…not sure…it could be no tag, or it could be no recent updates that would show in a tag search or a feed. I find people through a combination of tags and through other blogrolls. Now that I’m thinking about it I find most people through other blogrolls–that’s how I found you:)
If you figure out a way to bring them all out of hiding, let me know. I’m always looking for good poets too 🙂
July 12, 2009 at 2:41 pm
Great! Thanks Danielle. As you can see, I’m having a bit of trouble with the spacing on this blog — but will remedy that (hopefully) soon.
July 11, 2009 at 6:54 pm
Poets
are worse than
ptarmigans.
July 12, 2009 at 3:51 pm
OK Domino so I have to admit you gave me a vocab lesson for today. I had no clue what a ptarmigan is. As it turns out–yup–I agree with you 100% 😉
July 12, 2009 at 1:50 am
(aka DOMINO)
I would like to reprint this post on Wedge of Swans.
You will be properly credited and will retain full rights over your work.
The sole goal and purpose of Wedge of Swans is to promote contemporary poets and writers.
http://wedgeofswans.wordpress.com
July 12, 2009 at 10:32 am
Of course, Laura. Looks like a fun project:) Thanks for thinking of me:)
July 12, 2009 at 2:47 pm
Fixed. Good.
July 21, 2009 at 7:18 pm
A treat, a real treat! Every single version, but especially the final one.
July 27, 2009 at 9:19 am
The final one is the truthful version 😉