october leaves

me breathless

I can hear you

speak again

inside fractured

shades of when

in the wind,  you

breathe again

God walks with bare feet

Leaves His sandals on my step

Knowing He’ll make dew

the note said

there is no need

for peripheral plot

or overloaded metaphor

for timid parentheses

or non-committal ellipses now

no need for passive-aggressive footnotes

hidden below the surface

no eyes will condemn

the truth

such forgiveness and humanity is

reserved for the dead and dying

 

but wait I am still here I am here

holding the book fragile

and afraid to see my literature stripped

bare to meaning

and now without notice my editor

has left me too she passed away

and buried herself

with you eternally devoted

unwilling to preserve

my sense and sensibility

 

is she with you sharing secrets

I can feel her vicious slice

bleeding me cutting away the kindness

of literary discretion and excising the

punctuation that stapled me closed

exposing the wound and the tattered diary

hidden within

tear-stained yellowed pages a pressed rose

and the leaves of October

that never faded

because I always loved you.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Greetings all!

Some of you may know that I’ve been looking for work for almost 9 months. Well, I found some–temporary and a short term project, but at least it is “real work” that pays.

This is decidedly good.  😀

Of course, having a “real job” means I am not going to be able to spend as much time hanging out with my buddies here in cyberspace. This, to me, is badreally bad. I enjoy our discussions immensely. 😦

What’s a girl to do? I guess the only choice I have is to attempt to burn the midnight oil to squeeze in some reading and writing time.  I just don’t think I can put aside blogging and commenting for a few weeks. Nope, can’t do it. So I’m giving you all fair warning that my comments or posts may seem like they were written by a sleep-deprived, stressed out lunatic who is trying to adjust to a work schedule.

In short–this could get ugly. Bear with me, friends 🙂

Good vibes out to all!  For now, I’ll leave you with another of my favorite poems by Hafiz. I actually have it on my “inkspot” page, but it bears repeating:

 

Even after all this time

The sun never says to the earth,

“You owe Me.”

Look what happens with

A love like that,

It lights the Whole Sky.

– Hafiz

She sat beside me

and watched me struggle

as I attempted to build

an empire from broken glass and tears

with retaining walls and a moat in defiance

of the tide.  

it will never be strong enough she told me

but there is nothing more you can do

it will soon be gone and I knew that

she was right.

I wiped the sands

of make-believe from my eyes and cheeks

and we sat together and watched the ocean

swallow the kingdom, leaving only wet

clumps of a childhood dream, an illusion

at our feet.  

follow me she said, and I walked with her to the edge

of the water. We stood ankle deep in silt

and broken shells. We stood in the only silence

that can be known on the edge of the water,

the kind of silence where you know

you are not alone

and never can be. We stood together,

worlds apart for what only seemed to be

an eternity.

 

Gentle swells brought children dancing in the surf

singing and playing the games that children play,

unknowingly conjuring spirits and speaking truths

they have yet to learn

                                          ring around

                                          the rosie

                                                         a pocket

                                                         full

She smiled at me and took my hands in hers

and we splashed and stumbled in circles

once, twice, three times

                                                          ashes

                                                          ashes

We all fall

And I knew it was time to let her go.

 

I turned away, holding in my hands the remnants

of her that had woven into my fingertips

and walked back up the sand

to my daughter, who was waiting for me

with the ocean in her bucket, waiting to build

sand castles.

 

Last night,

while we were talking

about her, over the music

I took your breath away-

I admit it.

I couldn’t help myself

It was just that

your face

was so close,

so, so close

to mine

you were nearly

touching me

and

I

was

needing

air,

it was

so

hot and close

and I was

getting

breathless.

I want you

to know,

it’s been so long,

such a long time

and I never intended

to take from you again

but oh it felt so good,

such a rush

warm and soft inside

and I rationalized my behavior

telling myself

you wanted me

to

This morning

visions of us dancing, 

of me stealing

your afterthoughts,

taking

your breath away

are more than I can bear-

how could I be so wrong, so wrong…

I must make amends…

Please,  let me

make it up to you.

Meet me

tonight

and let me

give it

back.

I remember that summer.

We met.

Bathing suits and

sandals with

worn soles.

Baring souls on a sand bar

over dirty

martinis.

I was waiting for your friend

and you were

just waiting

for something, anything

or anyone

and I was there

Wait. I think I’m making this up. I remember the martinis but I think you did all the talking and I wasn’t listening to a word you said…

 

Take 2:

 

A single look was all it took

A glance that sparked a fire

Then came the touch

At once I knew

You were my heart’s desire

Strike that. It was lust. And “body’s” has too many syllables. Maybe something shorter…

 

Take 3:

 

Dark blue eyes on you

Splendidly symmetrical

A summer haiku

Oh, please. I will not sink to this level just to have something to write about. This absolutely sucks.

 

Final version:

 

Girl. Boy. A drink. A dance.

Intense.  Fast. Separation.

Together we weren’t poetry

Just free association.

 

Perfect.