A little humor to start my day. This is about as poetic as I can get today.  Dedicated to frustrated parents of “tweens.” You know who you are.  To the tune of “You Don’t Bring Me Flowers Anymore” by Barbra Streisand and Neil Diamond. (Well, it drifts away but oh well. This isn’t meant to be iconic.) Yes I’m getting old.  Ahem….

Tween Sizes


You don’t fit in Children’s

You’re too young for Junior’s…

Can fit no more through this dressing room door

I even ripped clothes off of every display


I remember when….

You used to love your Carter’s

Osh Kosh B’Gosh would thrill you…

Now you want skirts half-way up your backside…..

“Mom you just have no style…

You still say “outta sight!”

“Honey, I’m not that old– and my taste doesn’t “bite”….

Why must you make clothes shopping such a chore?”


Now I know what friends meant–

They said my day was coming….

Now every shopping trip ends in a fight

“Mom I just have to have these!”

“Child those jeans are too tight!”

“No they fit fine, I swear it…I’m just bloated tonight!”

“Honey I don’t think you’ll lose 15 pounds in one night—

So hang them on the “NO” hook, on the door.”


Can’t wait to get the hell out

Of this store…

And I won’t bring you shopping….